Doncaster Rovers – Top moustachioed eleven of all time
At times I don’t think I’m all there really. Whilst in front of the mirror mindlessly hacking away at my face recently I, for some still unknown reason, started to think about Rovers players from the past with memorable facial hair. This slowly meandered into those with full beards, smaller beards and of course led to moustaches only.
My own shave over, this brief idling of time and mind should’ve ended there too, but no. I found myself with a pen and paper and decided to come up with a best 11. Not only that but it had to have clear boundaries. Inclusions had to have 3 key features. 1. Moustache only – fair enough if they had sported other variants but their selection in this band had to be based on top lip only. 2. I had to find a picture of them with lip foliage, in their Rovers days, to get in. Only those hairs cultivated during a spell with Rovers would qualify. 3.Entry based primarily on facial hair, not ability, though this would be used as a tie breaker should two moustaches reach a similar level.
Ian Snodin did not make it based on the rules above…. When with us, teenage Snodin could only manage this rather poor, lightweight version which just didn’t cut the mustard. Everton Snod would have made it easily, the grown up tache was splendid, but check rule 2, he doesn’t qualify.. (I’m not here to win friends, this is serious).
Here we go:
1. Willie Boyd. Not much to choose from Keeper wise, though in truth Willie is there on merit. Tremendous ‘dark smudge’ style effort. Big favourite among the Belle Vue faithful.
2. Les Robinson. Elegant and gentrified, a moustache which makes me feel proud. Not just a smart moustache, Les was a top full back. He was always reliable from the spot, always seemed to put them in the same place, always scored. Les is our penalty taker too.
3. Fred Robinson. Reliable and consistent left back who made over 100 appearances for Doncaster Rovers during the 70’s.
Look at the weight of that ‘tache, truly a belter and contender for “top ‘tache”.
4. Dave Cusack. Two spells in the 80’s over 100 games, almost exclusively with insulation on his lip. During his second spell he became player manager at the age of 29. Given his managerial experience, he is duly installed as Player manager too.
5. Carl Swan. Enough said really. Well known in the football world, subject of a book; but look at the quality of moustache, that is everything I could’ve asked for. An absolute cracker, just about the definitive footballers moustache.
6. Joe Laidlaw. Hard tackling midfielder who could play as well. Notched a club record of 8 converted penalties in a season. Top player, top moustache.
7. Ian Miller. Flying winger, ‘windy’ provided ample ammo for his strikers during the 70’s and was supremely talented out wide – with a brilliant tache to boot. Seriously, check out the bristles on that. It’s not clear whether to shave them or sweep the drive with that?
8. Dave Bentley. Classy, ball playing midfielder for the club at the end of the 70’s. The quality of his moustache, allied with his ability on the ball means he is our playmaker. Look at that beauty, bet you couldn’t get a comb through that.
9. Peter Kitchen. One of the clubs most efficient accumulator of goals, Kitch scored over 20 goals a season consistently, all with a tache which matched his considerable goal scoring prowess. Simple tache, but effective. Does what you’d expect, no frills. Played with great effect up top in the 70’s with alongside….
10. Brendan O’Callaghan. Peter Kitchen’s partner in goals and facial hair. The pair terrorized defences in the 70’s and they were the only partnership we could have gone for. Big Bren’s ‘Horse Shoe’ as known in the trade, is a proper mans ‘tache.
11. Glynn Snodin. Went through the full range of facial hair through the 70’s and early 80’s but the example I unearth showed a neatly refined example of a moustache, matching his play and getting him into the 11.
There you have it, an hour or so of my life I’ll never get back, but a selection like that deserves commemorating nevertheless. Let me know if you have any additions. I may go and do something a bit more productive now. Wait a minute, I wonder which Rovers players are left handed…
The Team in Full. Who has the best ‘tache?